One Small Step For Mankind, One Giant Leap For You
The most difficult step to take: the first one
Hello,
Welcome to another post from Serfdom Road.
To be free, healthy, and wealthy, we can always do more to change our state of mind.
However, it is a challenge, for all of us, to even take the time for introspection: to understand where we are, and where we want to be.
More importantly, it is an understanding of how we have arrived where we are in life, by first noticing our emotions.
When we feel anxious, what are the emotions we are suppressing: sadness? guilt? anger?
What are the thoughts driving these suppressed emotions?
Are these thoughts or beliefs just intrusive or random, or were they forged during a past trauma?
Unfortunately, it often requires a crisis for us to realise what is missing, toxic, or broken, in our lives.
Before this point, we are usually just living life as a passive observer, rather than an active human being.
I believe this is because, during a crisis, life is forcing you to look yourself in the mirror, with no distractions, to see the cruel reality of your existence.
You realise that your life, up to this point, has been a car-crash in slow motion, with you clinging-on for dear life, wilfully-ignorant of all the chaos around you.
You always knew your life was following the wrong path, but those warning signs were met with, “I’ll be OK”, “Life will sort itself out”, “The new year will bring a new me”, “There’s nothing wrong with me”, etc.
Well I’m sorry to tell you, but life just never “sorts itself out”.
There is no magic wand, potion, or even medication, that can give you the life you desire.
It takes courage, bravery, and honesty, to enact positive change in your life.
Because you can’t think your way into a new life, you have to act.
(I know, this is starting to sound daunting already!)
If you are already at a crisis-point, know this, no matter how painful life is right now, it can be temporary, it can end, but only if you choose to change.
Suicide, it is often said, is “a permanent solution, to a temporary problem”.
“Oh, but you don’t know what it is like for me!”, I hear you say.
You are right, I don’t.
I do, however, know that locked inside you, is your true-self, waiting to be freed.
Instead, it is hidden from view, surrounded by all the larger unhealthy, helpless, and ineffective, parts of you.
You must know this, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article, or seeking out help in anyway you can, during the fleeting moments your pain has subsided.
The rest of this article, won’t fix your problems, neither will it make your life better. It might just, however, get you to start thinking about the path you are on, and how you can make that tentative first-step on to a new one.
Let’s move together down a more positive, and healthy path.
One that can take you to a place of stability, comfort, and peace; or to a new job; or to a new country; or even, to another planet!
As the song goes, “The first cut is the deepest…”, well, the first step is the hardest.
Why?
Ask anyone what they do, or are doing.
Then ask them, how they do, what they are doing.
Simple enough?
Then ask them… why?
Now, this is the most complex of questions to answer: why?
Most often, this question is met with a blank stare, a puzzled look, or replies like, “Well, I was told to”, “It’s what I’m paid to do”, “I’ve always done it this way”, “So I can meet more women”, “It’s what you’re supposed to do”, “This is the life I was dealt”, etc.
Are these replies emanating from someone that believes they are adding value to their lives, or the lives of others?
No, I don’t think they do.
Before you decide to make changes in your life, you must first ask yourself: why?
Change, at least the positive kind, is never easy.
You are always going to have to do battle with your demons, and your “why” is the only thing that will save you.
Your “why” has to be so powerful, meaningful, and personal, that it can get you out of bed and to the gym at 5am, avoid sugar, avoid alcohol, or conquer your biggest fears.
If you’re significantly overweight, and are wanting that chocolate cake, you might think, “I don’t want to die young, alone, and miserable. I want a life full of love, companionship, and adventure!”
If you’re highly anxious, and are scared to ask someone on a date, you might think, “I don’t want to hold myself back anymore. I want to live a life where I dare to live out my dreams!”
Whoever it is that you want to be, or whatever it is that you want to change, your new path must start with “why?”.
Walk, Don’t Run
Most people (apparently), start their new “diet” on a Monday.
(It should be nutrition, not diet - diets are only temporary!)
Why?
So they can binge eat to their heart’s content all weekend!
Then wake-up on Monday morning, get ready for a job they hate, commute to said job, then try really hard not lose their mind, while they combat the sugar crash from the weekend, with their new juice diet.
This is what is known as setting yourself up for failure.
Everyone wants quick results.
It’s not surprising.
Today, you can get almost anything instantly: food, drink, clothes, coffee tables, even a date.
Anything worth doing, is never easy, and never materialises instantaneously.
Your first task, is to do something that is:
Achievable in a day
Relatively easy
Something you can consistently do
For example:
If you’re agoraphobic, stand outside, as close to your home as possible, for as long as possible.
If you’re overweight, and eat three large pizzas a day, take one slice, before eating, and put it in the bin.
If you’re anxious, ask one person for the time, or directions to a location.
If you have OCD, before you do your next ritual, see how long you can go without doing it.
If you hate your job, start a new CV, but only write your name, nothing else.
The point here, is that, your first practical step forward must be so small, that your inner demons barely notice, as you begin your escape down your own road to freedom.
Little By Little
In the beginning, that tentative first-step forward, on to a new path, can be incredibly liberating, and exciting.
This is because, you are finally doing something different: you are finally taking action.
Do not trivialise putting a slice of pizza in the bin, or drinking one less shot of booze, or asking someone for the time, or booking your first appointment with a therapist (I nearly cancelled my first session!).
These are all positive steps, and they move you off the hamster-wheel that is your current existence.
Notice how you feel when you take these initial steps.
This is your body giving you feedback that what you are doing is good for you, and possibly, that you should do more of it.
In no time, and with consistent effort, these little steps can lead to immense change in your life.
Within a short period of time, you can go from; hermit to mountain-climber; obese to fitness-freak; anxious to extroverted; or depressed to loving life.
Don’t believe me?
British author, J.K. Rowling (b. 1965), in the early 90s, was a single-Mum, living on state benefits, and even suicidal at times. Within a few years she would go on to become the world’s first billionaire-author.
American actress, Halle Berry (b. 1966), in the late 80s, was briefly homeless in New York City, before going on to achieve her first television role.
Canadian filmmaker, James Cameron (b. 1954), was barely able to make ends-meet, and sold the manuscript for his latest film for $1, just so he could be the director. Terminator would go on to generate $78.3 million at the box office.
The key takeaway from these examples, is that you don’t need to aim to be the next Mr. Olympia when you’re 30% body fat, or the frontman of the next great rock band when you’re agoraphobic.
You just need to keep taking small steps.
Once you are able to live hour-by-hour, you can start living day-by-day.
With a little progress, you can start planning your life months in advance.
Then, little by little, you just never know where life may take you.
I hope you have found this article insightful and helpful!
Please feel free to comment below.
Kind regards,
Le Libérateur
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash
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